The Perfection of Om

            Life is the greatest gift in the world, and once or if the gift is revealing itself, death is its bliss. For life without death is not one worth experiencing, but rather one to mock and fear. Death is a part of life, and without life there is no death. The idea of equilibrium−the balancing of life, the Self, one's journey− is the only way one can experience life and reach enlightenment through learning of the Self and gaining the knowledge of humanity, mind and body, and the world. In Siddhartha, the novel by Hermann Hesse, he tells of the story of Siddhartha, and his journey to the Self and enlightenment. Throughout his whole life, he takes risks, does what he feels is right, learns of the unknown, and tries to discover the world and the true meaning of life. He sees during many different points in his life, that there are balancing elements from his life. Whether it be following pleasure or religion, ego or the heart, teachers or individualism, living in Sansara or reaching Nirvana, there is light and dark in the world, true opposites, and all to experience in an eternal life. What Siddhartha finds is what he knows all his life, but doesn't find it and fully comprehend it until the darkest, most hopeless time in his life. What he finds that stops him from committing suicide and giving up, is Om. The eternal perfection, the perfection of life, the world, and unity between the world and the Self, or Oneness. Siddhartha tries to find something that he does not know his whole life for himself, and in the end he finds Om, Oneness, and thus reveals his lifelong goal of enlightenment. Siddhartha doesn't realize Om until the last chapter of his life as a ferryman, but from this he doesn't find Oneness until the end of his life. Being a child Brahmin, Samana, rich businessman, and ferryman, he experiences all parts of life, in which he finds harmony and enlightenment, but he does not only experience these lives from different reborn versions of himself, but also from what he learns and does during these chapters in his life. Siddhartha does not see, hear, nor feel Om by mere chance − he finds the perfection of life because of the knowledge he obtains, the lessons he learns, and the life he experiences himself throughout the many rebirths of his eternal life.

            Siddhartha grows up in a family of Brahmins, and he is bound to be a Brahmin from his youth and into adulthood. But still in youth, after knowing he learns all he can from practicing religion, knowing of Atman, and Om, he has the Internal Call. Until this point, he starts feeling discontent of his life, knowing there is so much more out there for him to discover. "...all wise Brahmins, had already given him the richest and best part of their wisdom, had already poured their plenty into his waiting vessel, yet the vessel was not full: His mind was not content, his soul not at peace, his heart restless" (Hesse 5). Everything the Brahmins teach him is enough for another ordinary Brahmin, but Siddhartha knows there is much more to experience than just what he learns in order to reach enlightenment. The journey is unknown to him, but from this restlessness of his heart, he hears the Internal Call, the very start of Joseph Campbell's Myth Cycle; the hero's journey. This persuades himself to take leave onto something new, a new perspective and way of living. When he tells his father he wants to leave to become a Samana, his father refuses the idea, but Siddhartha knows only what he wants, so he protests by waiting to leave in silence. Finally his father sees his son is ready to leave home, to start his own journey into manhood, and so he lets him go. Once Siddhartha and Govinda learn the way of the Samana, and how to lose oneself in the world, in other beings, and eradicate their ego, they still only find distress and suffering. At first for Siddhartha, he finds himself lost in the lives of other animals, plants, and the elements of the world through this meditation of the Samana, yet, he only finds disquiet of his soul in the end. He 'lives' the whole life of a heron and more, the beauty of the life cycle of all living things, but once death  arrives, he wakes in and with his own Self once again, in physical agony and no passion for his Self. "We find consolations, we find numbness, we learn skills with which to deceive ourselves. But the essential, the Path of Paths, this we do not find" (Hesse 17). The Path, or the journey that lies ahead, is not to be found through losing oneself, through trickery of the mind and spirit. Siddhartha learns this lesson himself, through experiencing something seemingly wonderful, and always waking from that blissful dream, coming back to reality, in which he only finds pain. Siddhartha and Govinda both hear of the Buddha, and want to leave the painful ways of a Samana, to travel and hear the doctrine of the Buddha in person. Both unknowingly have different aspirations from one another once they meet the Buddha. Govinda becomes Gautama's disciple, but Siddhartha does not. When both leave to become a Samana, they want to get rid of ego and find another perspective of life. The difference is that Govinda wants to unfold his life through learning of the life of great ones, such as the one and only Buddha, and find some enlightenment this way. Siddhartha leaves because he wants not to be a student or follower anymore, but his own student. He leaves being a Samana to be rid of pain and emptiness, not to become a student once again. "'There is in fact−and this I believe−no such thing as what we call 'learning'. There is, my friend, only knowing, and this is everywhere; it is Atman, it is in me and in you and in every creature'" (Hesse 17). There is indeed a big difference between wisdom and teaching, and to reach, find, and know wisdom is something so much more than learning. Discovering the world and the Self through one's own life is the only way to true enlightenment. The experience of following his Calling and becoming a Samana reveals his courage and thirst for living a different life to experience something more. Leaving to find reason from the Buddha, and hear his own reasoning exposes a new life, uncharted but waiting. He is reborn yet again and will let his Path take him wherever he needs to go. From a child Brahmin, to a Samana, to freedom, he creates a basis for finding enlightenment. Knowledge is something one can learn through a teacher, such as Gautama, but using this knowledge and revealing wisdom and the world for oneself is the only way to find Om, to reach enlightenment; become a Buddha.

            Set off for a new life, Siddhartha is happier than ever, exciting to see what he'll become next. No rules, no teacher, he is reaching for his goal, a goal in which he does not know, by himself and in his own direction. Crossing the river in which he becomes a ferryman of later, he meets the ferryman, Vasudeva, who he stays with for shelter, but does not know. Crossing the river, Siddhartha encounters a woman, whom he almost makes love to, but stops himself from such pleasure, wanting to still keep his spiritual ways intact and not give to pleasure. On the other side, in the forests, he meets a courtesan named Kamala. He falls in love with her, but does not understand love or pleasure, and wants her to be his teacher. From before, he wants nothing of a teacher, but from something so foreign to him as physicality, he wants to learn everything he can. She falls in love with him too, once she introduces him to the city of child people, or worldly, normal people, and he buys clothes, is proper, and gets a job. But the one thing she tells of him, is how to obtain love. "Love can be begged, bought, or received as a gift, one can find it in the street, but one cannot steal it" (Hesse 49). Since Siddhartha already has the feeling of what he believes is love, she explains how he can give it and more importantly receive it, as long as he gets love back. To have, give, and receive love is important to not only loving other human beings−one's soul mate or lover−but of all people and the Oneness of the world. This is the greatest thing Siddhartha can receive and reveal to himself during his life among the child people. Of course, his ego takes force, and the lifestyle of which he chooses to live takes over his body and soul. Kamala's boss, Kamaswami, hires Siddhartha in which he becomes a businessman−a successful tradesman. His tactics are not what one might think are profitable, but learning to love the child people of who he trades with in the long run makes him the most successful, having all the acquaintances. Under the wing of Kamala and Kamaswami, he becomes excessively wealthy, filthily rich, and lets his ego change him. He becomes a gambler, gambling away thousands of dollars to at some point get the pleasurable feeling of winning more money. He also becomes a drinker and a cheater, drinking his body and soul away, and cheating his love for Kamala with dancing women, becoming older faster than he ever has before. "Whenever he awoke from this hateful spell, whenever he saw his face grown older and uglier in the mirror on his bedroom wall, whenever he was assailed by shame and nausea, he fled further, seeking to escape in more gambling, seeking to numb himself with sensuality and wine, and then hurled himself back into the grind of hoarding and acquisition" (Hesse 68). The excessive pleasure of money, luxury, sensuality, and alcohol is slowly killing his love, his desire for life, his body and mind, and his Self. It is to this exhaustion of pleasure that he literally is nauseous to the stomach and soul, and is slowly aging and dying from it all. The element that pushes his conscious to the limit is his dream of the songbird. "...the little bird lay dead and still on the bottom. He took it out, weighed it for a moment in his hand, and then tossed it aside, into the street, and at the same moment he was seized with fear and horror and his heart hurt, as if with this dead bird he had thrust aside everything that had worth and value" (Hesse 70).The songbird, of course, is nothing but Siddhartha. His life, the things of value, meaning, and purpose to him and his Self all are things the bird represents, who is dead. Instead of reviving it, he throws it out like trash, never to live life again, only suffer death forever. It shows how his life of Sansara that he's living will end in a never ending death−a death of a life with no enlightenment; only no fulfillment. At this point, as much as he loves Kamala, he can no longer withstand the suffering of the mass excess and pleasure in his life, and so he leaves to go back to a more spiritual life, still following his Path. He learns of being one of the child people, of wealth, of physical pleasure, and most importantly: love. He also learns of suffering from excess in these things, and what it worth loving and living for. Siddhartha experiences this completely different side of life, and the simple things of child people and love, but has yet to learn more from life itself and truly understand Om. He is still going to find a new life for himself and by himself, not to follow any teaching or to learn−only discover and reveal wisdom for himself.

            When he leaves the city, he treks back to the river, the one he crosses from many years back. Still in deep despair, he looks in the water's reflection to see a waste of a life, fearful and near death. He wishes upon death, thinking death and the end has to be better than what he's seeing. Si, Siddhartha tries to commit suicide, by drowning himself in the river. Starting to sink, time seems to pause, and he has a moment of light. "Then, from distant reaches of his soul, from bygone realms of his weary life, a sound fluttered. It was a word, a syllable that he now spoke aloud, mindlessly, his voice a babble, the first and final word of every Brahmin prayer, the holy Om that meant the perfect or perfection. And the moment the sound Om touched Siddhartha's ear, his slumbering spirit suddenly awoke and recognized the foolishness of his actions" (Hesse 75). From the word Om, Siddhartha sees his whole life and realizes what he's giving up: the gift of life! He emerges from the water, reborn, and a happier man all together. He reveals the greatness of life to himself from the sound of Om, revealing hope and happiness to his life again. At this moment he finds an old bliss, the connection with life, in which the sorrow and sadness within him dies, along with that part of his life. He becomes a new man, still in pursuit of reaching the end of his Path, and to find what he's been trying to find his whole life. After the event, he sits under a tree−the symbol of spirit above his head−next to the river, finding soul and peace again. He falls in a deep sleep, and when he wakes, he is full of bliss again only to see his old friend, Govinda. After conversing with him, makings their ways once again, Siddhartha crosses the river again, to meet with the same ferryman from years back. He lives with him and stays, for Siddhartha wants to live the way Vasudeva lives and gain respect for life and its beauty more than ever. Vasudeva tells Siddhartha of many things, and listens to Siddhartha's life stories and views on life. Vasudeva tells the ways of a ferryman to Siddhartha, in which he becomes one. He does not teach Siddhartha anything, but merely tells him things to listen for and become one with things to find his own wisdom, revealing what he already knows. The biggest element of finding enlightenment for Siddhartha is the river, the life of the world that gives him life again, and allows him to hear Om. This is what he listens to, to answer all of his own wonderments, revealing his Self and wisdom. He 'learns' to be a ferryman by listening, trusting, and knowing the river, in which it reflects this back for him to listen, trust, and know himself. Over the years, the day comes when the Buddha is near enlightenment, so masses all around come to cross the river to travel and see the Buddha pass. Two travelers happen to be Siddhartha's love, Kamala, and his son in which he does not know, also whose name is Siddhartha. He witnesses Kamala being bit by a deathly snake, and rushes her and his son to Vasudeva's hut. Here, he speaks with Kamala for the last time of their love, and she 'gives' their son to Siddhartha before her death. Siddhartha is happy to have his own son in his grasp, but his son hates him, and gives him no love back. Siddhartha tries and tries, until his son eventually runs away, exactly like Siddhartha did to his father, except without warning. Siddhartha feels emptiness again, without his son and return of his love for him, and feels sorrow and a wound in his heart. Siddhartha goes back to the city where his son flees to retrieve him back, but realizes he must let his son find his own Path like his father did him. "This he had learned beside the river, this one thing: to wait, to be patient, to listen. And he sat there listening in the dust of the road, listening to his heart beating wearily and sadly, waiting for a voice... when he felt his wound stinging, he soundlessly pronounced the word Om, filled himself with Om" (Hesse 106). His heart has experience with happiness, from having his son and coming back from his abyss as a ferryman, but it has no experience with sorrow. Losing his son and letting him go is the sorrow he needs to overcome, in which he does. Again, the word and sound of Om, reminds him of this, rebuilds his poise and regains his spirit and happiness. He sure knows of Om, back from his days as a Brahmin, and he sure knows its meaning. What Siddhartha has yet to find is the Om in all of life, not just as a spiritual concept or in the Self. He returns from the city to the hut of the ferryman, for Vasudeva to tell him to listen to the river once more and find what he's looking for. "...Siddhartha listened attentively to this river, to this thousand-voiced song, when he listened neither for the sorrow nor for the laughter, when he did not attach his soul to any one voice and enter into it with his ego but rather heard all of them, heard the whole, the oneness−then the great song of the thousand voices consisted only of a single word: Om, perfection... his Self had flowed into the Oneness" (Hesse 114). Siddhartha revealing this meaning and truly seeing all of his experiences put together for the first time is simply beautiful to him, and he finds Oneness and true Om. He becomes one with the world, one with life, seeing the world in a perfect, enlightening view. The greatest skill of listening, benefits Siddhartha the most, from gaining wisdom from the river and listening to the world; enough wisdom to reach enlightenment. By Om, he sees the perfection of life is made of the balance of all things, light and darkness, birth and death, and life without balance would be empty− nothingness. Being one with the world, the Oneness, is the moment when one reaches enlightenment, being one with body and mind, Self, and the world.

            The word Om is the meaning of perfection, the sound of Om is the journey to perfection. This perfection is the definition of life, the balance of all things, the beauty of everything in existence. Harmony: the equilibrium of life, in space, in nature, in the Self, and of the Earth. To obtain connection with the world, one must understand Om and find Oneness. To be one with the world is to be one with the Self, and life's existence. Reaching Nirvana and enlightenment derives from experience and wisdom, and Oneness. Siddhartha goes through so much in his life, every chapter of his life a new, he is reborn. For every rebirth, he is to gain knowledge and reveal wisdom throughout, all different lessons than his previous lives in his eternal life. He is born into a Brahmin family, eventually to become a Brahmin. He learns of religion, Atman, and Om but does not fully understand Om, only knows its meaning. He leaves to become a Samana, void of reality, but embracing life and the world. He travels to the Buddha to reveal his own Path for himself to embark upon, to truly reveal Om. He becomes a child person, with riches and excess, and a businessman. He also becomes a lover and learns of love and what it truly is to love. He almost reaches death, until Om brings him back, and makes him love life again, wanting to completely understand it. He becomes a ferryman in which he loses his love and son, but learns to listen to the river. Finally he listens for Om, and with all his experiences and wisdom, he finds Oneness, completely understanding Om and what it truly means, reaching enlightenment. Siddhartha's journey, his Path to find Om and Oneness, to find balance all through his own wisdom, is one to inspire, to be told to humanity, for humanity− to understand life and the perfection of the world.